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Hey! It’s Tara. Today’s episode is going to be a bit different…
Last week, I found myself facing another breaking point… a moment where I just felt completely overcome by fear and didn’t know how to move forward.
This episode is a raw, unedited breakdown conversation I had with Justin late one night. It turns out I’ve been battling something called impostor syndrome… and even if you haven’t heard of this, I’m willing to bet you can relate.
Listen in… and if this is something you’re experiencing, let us know in the comments!
And of course, Happy Thanksgiving!
Episode 72: Show Notes
A few things we cover in today’s episode!
- The impostor syndrome… what it is and how it can affect you…
- The definition of leadership and what “true leaders” do…
- The truth about people who seem to have it all together…
- The “two kinds” of people there are…
- Why it’s so important to be yourself…
- The kinds of excuses we tell ourselves to avoid facing our fears…
- Why it’s important not to get dragged down by negative criticism…
- And so, so much more.
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This episode really hit home for me. I’ve been developing iPhone apps for about two years now and I have the feeling of imposter syndrome almost every day. The fear builds up for me until the point that I don’t get anything done sometimes. Thank you for reminding me why we do the things that we do. It helps to know that everyone feels these feelings from time to time.
Thanks for this comment Jon! I’m glad you were able to relate. It’s so nice when other people are open as well. It’s not an easy thing to do but it’s very helpful because then I know we’re all in this together!
I have been listening to this pod cast since the first episode. I look forward to listening to each new episode on my way to work each day. I am a school psychologist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor and I specialize in evidenced based treatments for anxiety and depression. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy(DBT) are skill based treatments that are highly effective. After hearing this episode I felt compelled to write this comment. Justin, hearing you encourage and cheerlead your wife in such a positive way, is just beautiful. Tara, you are so couragious to show your vulnerability, it is so common and yet few will admit or show it. In CBT we talk about anxiety being a bully and a liar. Worry will tell you that the worst thing will happen, when it most likely won’t happen, known as catastrophizing. We also should all over ourselves, ” I should be doing this” or “I shouldn’t have said that”. Mind reading, thinking that others are judging you or thinking negativley about you without having evidence that this is true, “they think I’m an idiot” . This list of thinking traps known as cognitive distortions, goes on and on. The skills that we teach are brave skills, talking back to worry in much the same way as we would stand up for a friend ( just as Justin did for Tara in this episode). We also learn to tolerate emotional discomfort and the uneasy feelings that come with wanting to avoid these feelings and whatever may have triggered the feeling. We all have these feelings at different points in our life, or even in our day. To reach our goals in life we have to catch these traps and “talk back” to it. Worry likes to win, when we are brave and move ahead, even when it’s hard and feels uneasy, we win. Thank you for showing this in such a heart felt way. Hmmmm, should I submit this comment or delete it? It’s making me feel uneasy :)
Wow Dawn this was such a great comment thank you so much for sharing. I can tell that you have so much knowledge about this subject and I would love to just pick apart your brain! You mentioned some very good points here. I really like where you say that you learn how to tolerate emotional discomfort and the uneasy feelings that come with wanting to avoid these feelings. That is so cool! I can definitely relate to that! It’s a work in progress! :)
This is the first time I have listened to this podcast and I love the vulnerability in this – resonates with me so much and had me in tears with you at times! I wanted to reach out and say that it was funny how Tara said she had to work through her kinks first whereas Justin did it on the go – this is something Sheryl Sandberg has commented on before too – how women have issues with visibility and one cause could be that men are promoted based on their potential whereas women are promoted based on their achievements – I think there is a lot going on for men that is different for women (and vice versa) which is linked to our personal and cultural paradigms. Thank you for sharing :)
Wow Shari this was a great insight! I’ve never thought about that before. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your comment so much because it was not easy to decide to put this out there for everyone to hear. I’m glad it made an impact on you! :)
I LOVED this episode SO much!! Thank you, Tara, for sharing what goes through my mind. I’m not comfortable being loud and in people’s faces. I don’t like thinking that I have to be this loud, over the top personality to make money, because that is not me! I don’t like feeling I have to be someone I’m not or else I won’t live a thriving life. I know you were uncomfortable sharing that, and I just want to let you know it was SO familiar because it is what I hear inside my head a lot. So, I finally felt that someone else understands! You get it! With every episode I hear of 8MM I love and appreciate you even more (not in a creepy way, in a resonant way ?). You’re cool, too, Justin, don’t get huffy puffy on me.
Please keep being your amazing, bright light selves!!
Squisses and kisses!
-Deana