Hey guys!

Sorry it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with my new business and helping my sister with her new swim suit business as well. I’ve been helping her design some of her suits. It’s called Janela Bay go check it out! janelabay on Instagram or Janelabay.com 

Any wayyy… I wanted to do a quick little post to let you guys know where I am on my journey. Truth be told I’ve been struggling quite a bit. I’m still pressing forward but I know I could be moving forward so much more! It literally drives me crazy. I have this idea in my mind of everything I’m going to get done in one day and I get like a fourth of it done. I’ve come to find that it’s so hard for me to work for myself because I don’t have a structured set schedule anymore. When I was working for Justin and Tara full time, I had that. Now that I’m working on my own I have a hard time balancing my schedule. Sometimes I will take some time during the day to run some errands that need to get done then the evening will come around and I haven’t worked the hours I needed to or finished the work I needed to then I get super stressed because plans that I’ve already made in the evening are set in stone. So then I feel guilty for going and doing stuff in the evening because I’m like oh I need to be working right now. It is a constant battle. I keep thinking to myself I should just plan everything out on my calendar and schedule it out there but then I never end up following my calendar because things always take me longer than I think. 

I feel like I’m so scatter brained that even when I try to organize my life on a calendar or something it still doesn’t work because I don’t even know how to organize stuff on a calendar. I’m like ok, should I put this here and should I put this there? It is so difficult for me for some reason. 

I think one of the biggest things tying me down from becoming who I know I can become is time management. Justin and Tara have talked to me time and time again about all of these things and I play things that they have told me over and over in my head and they just eat at me because I KNOW it’s possible to do them but for some reason I’m still not doing them. They’ve told the importance of eliminating things from my life and the importance of saying no. They’ve taught me the importance of early mornings and using my time wisely and getting rid of al distractions. I have just been so frustrated with myself because I can feel all these things I know slipping away from my habits. I don’t have Justin and Tara right there any more keeping tabs on me and it’s SO much harder to do all of these things because I don’t have that accountability. 

I’m still training to run a marathon in April but do I get up at 6 am to run? Nope. I was actually doing pretty well at that for a while until this past week. Over Christmas break was pretty rough but I at least made myself get up at like 6:30 or 7 everyday and I was still running four days a week. I’m still running four days a week now but I’m not getting up at 6. I will start my week with every intention to wake up that early and do a good miracle morning then I don’t end up going to bed until late and I soooo tired when that alarm goes off so I’ll just press snooze and torture myself. I hate those days. I’m SO mad at myself when I do that because I feel like I’m letting my self control slip away from me. I feel tired the whole day and groggy and I try to go running later and I feel like a brick trying to run. I’m really going to make it a new goal to start saying no again and hanging out with people earlier. Now that I work for myself I’ll work until  8 or 9 then go hang out with people then I get home late. If I change that then I will be able to wake up earlier,run and get my studies and journaling and showering all done by 8 am like I did before. This will give me SO much more time to get everything done that I need to then I can still hang out with people in the evening. 

Something else I’ve noticed in myself is that it is so hard to get me to do the hard un fun things in my business. I dread them so then I avoid them and then it just eats at me. When ever I accomplish something like that I feel so good and happy! It’s just sitting down and actually starting that’s rough for me. 

I’ve noticed that since I’ve been on this journey I’ve been working on the same things over and over. I’ll do good for a little bit then I’ll slip and it’s this ongoing cycle. I thought that after a while these challenges I have would eventually all just go away and I would never have to deal with them again. But that is definitely not the case. I’ve realized that these things will always be there. I just have to choose to conquer them or let them control me and pull me under what I’m capable of.

I’m not gonna lie a lot of it is laziness… I feel myself slipping back into these old habits.I never just sit down and watch T.V  but I don’t subconsciously take a really long time to do things or let any distraction get in my way because it’s a nice release from work. I’ll be “working all day” But in between that other I’ll be doing other things as well and then before I know it my day is gone and I’ve gotten no where. I’ve noticed that it’s because I’m avoiding the hard things by taking longer on the easier things. I’m really going to prioritize better and schedule out my week and stick with it. That is my new goal. Schedule,eliminate/say no and prioritize. Those are the three things I will be working on. 

I still have such strong desires to progress and become successful. I will never give up. This stuff that I’m writing about is constantly on my mind. I admire people who have these strengths so much. I want to do these things so badly. I just need to get to the point like I did with running where I’d rather work hard and feel good than be lazy and feel terrible. Please comment if you can relate and are on this journey with me! Regardless of how many times we fall down, we will keep moving forward!